Watch The Stars [Nessie]

[Ruth Hamilton]

Ruth sometimes envied the stars with their effortless beauty, able to impress and astound millions just by being themselves. The stars didn't have to try to be perfect, they didn't try to impress anyone and yet no one could look at the night sky and not be amazed by the brilliant twinkling lights above them. Everyone stooped when they saw stars; they were a beauty of nature; they didn't have to be anything but themselves to be perfect; they were born to dazzle.

Sometimes Ruth wondered about the fairness of the stars not even having to try to be dazzling in yet she tried and tried to please everyone, tried to be perfect, to be beautiful, but she failed every time. She always seemed to mess something up, most recently with Nessie. Beautiful Nessie. She wondered what Nessie must think of her, if she was thinking of her. Ruth thought about it and thought Nessie must think her very foolish for acting so strange and must not like her for upsetting her. She wished she could've told her the real reason for acting so weird, but, she couldn't. Ruth sighed and gazed up at the sky, closing her eyes and for one fleeting moment imagined herself a beautiful star.

[Renesmee Cullen]

Nessie headed out of the cottage while her parents were up at the manor, leaving them a note so they didn't freak out. She'd been trying to sleep, but thoughts were running too rampantly through her head to give her peace. She needed to get out, to breathe, to clear her mind. Heading aimlessly into the forest, she wound up several miles from the cottage, closer to town. Oh, well, this was better than nothing. At least it was quiet out here. She wandered a bit father, careful not to stray into the road as she gazed up at the stars.

Everything seemed to make so much more sense when one was looking at the sky. Whether it be watching clouds or stargazing, your own problems seemed so much less worrysome when you were looking up at the sky, a mere speck in the grand scheme of things. It seemed to calm the mad racing of thoughts in her head, anyway. Lowering herself to the ground, she lay on her back, tracing patterns in the stars. Of course, the first one she found was a wolf, which made a knot form in her stomach again. God, why did everything link back to Jacob in some way? Because he's the center of your universe, her inner voice responded dryly. She'd been with him since she was born, he'd been everything she'd ever needed. So why was the idea of being with him in a new way so terrifying to her?

Sighing heavily, she turned her head to glance around her, recognizing someone who seemed to share her idea. Smiling weakly, she turned over and pushed herself upright, hobbling on her knees over to where Ruth was. "Hey," she greeted quietly with a smile. "Mind if I lay here?"

[Ruth Hamilton]

Ruth nearly jumped as she heard a familiar voice and turned to see Nessie right by her. Suddenly, Ruth's mouth felt dry. She felt as if she had so much to tell her but no way to say it. And God, Nessie looked so beautiful by just the light of the stars and the moon. It made her utterly speechless.

"No..." was all Ruth could say, "Not at all..." she then sighed and looked down, playing with a small blade of grass. What to say? This all felt so incredibly awkward. She then looked up at Nessie and wondered if Nessie must think Ruth hated her with the way she acted today; which was so far from the truth; if anything, Ruth could at least let her know she didn't hate her.

"Look," Ruth said with a sigh, "About today...I'm sorry...I was really dumb and...please don't think I hate you, because I don't."

[Renesmee Cullen]

Nessie smiled, settling herself on her back beside Ruth. "Sorry if I'm interrupting," she said, turning her head to look at her classmate. "I just saw you here and figured I may as well clear my head with a friend." She listened as Ruth spoke, feeling awful as what she was saying rang in her ears. Oh god. had she given the impression that she hated the girl earlier today? She hadn't thought she'd been rude, but, then again, she was oblivious sometimes. "Oh, no!" she replied quickly, propping herself up on her elbow. "No, of course I don't think you hate me. And there's no need for you to apologize. You weren't dumb, you were a typical kid with a lot on her mind. Don't ever apologize for that."

[Ruth Hamilton]

"No," Ruth said, "You're not interpreting anything." She blushed a tad at Nessie's words, glad it was dark so she was sure Nessie wouldn't be able to see. She smiled at Nessie and said,
"Thanks...because I would like to be your friend."

She was happy Nessie wasn't mad at her, but she had to wonder what Nessie would think if she knew what exactly Ruth was thinking about. Normal kids didn't think about these kinda things, that was for sure.

[Renesmee Cullen]

"Oh, good," Nessie replied with a smile. "I wouldn't want to make things awkward for you." Of course, she was doing just that by being here, but she was unaware of this fact. She smiled brilliantly at Ruth's comment, replying, "I'd like to be your friend too. You seem like a really cool person." And she meant that. There was something about Ruth that just made Nessie want to hang around her.

[Ruth Hamilton]

Ruth smiled at Nessie. Things were already awkward for her around Nessie, but she wouldn't say that. Besides, it was her fault, not Nessie's. The reason for the awkwardness was from her own twisted thinking that she didn't even want but came anyway.

She blushed a bit when Nessie called her a cool person. "You really think so?" she asked stupidly then mentally kicked herself for saying something so incredibly dumb. But, she couldn't help that Nessie was making her tongue-tied at the moment. She turned her attention back to the stars, wondering how she could attain the gracefulness of the stars. Her friend Cathy once told her she believed the stars were really tiny night fairies, watching the world from above for entertainment at night then during the day fly back to their own enchanting world. Ruth inquired her if she really believed that and Cathy simply responded that she didn't know, but it was much better to believe the world was as beautiful and enchanting as that.

Ruth wondered what the stars would think of her if her story was true. If they even cared about listening to her. If they thought she were foolish. Or, who knew, maybe they even liked her. She stared back and Nessie before she got too lost in thought and said, "Do you come here often? I try to come here every night to watch the stars," she said, the magic of the stars already making her feel at peace, "My friend once said she thought the stars were really tiny night fairies, watching us from above at night for entertainment," she laughed fondly at Cathy's ideas of the world around her.

[Renesmee Cullen]

"Yeah, I really do," Nessie replied with a smile. "I just came here and don't have too many friends, but I'd like to hang out with you more," she added, turning her head back to look at the stars. She found her wolf again, and was able to pick out some other shapes around it: a rabbit, a lion, some trees... Tracing patterns in the stars made her feel much better abot her own petty issues, made her fears dissolve. Because, really, what did she have to be worried about? It was Jacob, for crying out loud. Being with him was easy, as natural as breathing. There was no need to fight this. Everything woudl turn out okay in the end.

"My family lives in the woods outside of town, so there's usually no need for me to go so far, but I do come out a lot, yes. Looking at the clouds or the stars helps clear my head. I've needed a lot of clearing, lately." Nessie smiled as Ruth explained her friend's theories, chuckling a little. "That actually makes a lot of sense. It's more fun to think about than the scientific side of things, anyway."

[Ruth Hamilton]

"You don't have to many friends?" Ruth asked in a bit of surprise, hardly realizing what she had said until it came out. She would've figured someone like Nessie would have a lot of friends. She was so pretty and nice and smart. It was just...a surprise to her to imagine Nessie not having that many friends. Though she supposed it made sense, at school she never seemed to be hanging out with very many people.

"You just..." Ruth said, searching for words to explain, "Strike me as someone who would have lots of friends."

"Ya, the stars seem to be good at that," Ruth, "I always feel...at peace when I look up at the stars." She looked up at the stars with a smile, almost as if she were giving them thanks for making her feel at peace and comfortable, though right now, Nessie's presence was helping with that. Though at first she had been feeling awkward, now she felt rather warm, rather happy being here with her.

"My friend always said it's probably better to think the world is a place where beauty and enchantment happens daily then the logic of the world," she said, wising she herself could feel that way; she did feel the world was a place of beauty and wonder, but she wanted to feel beautiful. She wanted to feel wonderful. "I always loved stars," she said, "Because they don't try to impress anyone or be beautiful...they just are." She sighed dreamily wishing she were beautiful, wishing she could make others happy just by being her.

[Renesmee Cullen]

Nessie couldn't help but chuckle at Ruth's surprise. "No," she replied, "I don't have many friends My family just moved here recently, and we're not exactly accepted into Forks's social circle." It was true. Well, the outcast bit, not the just moved here bit. Her family had been here for at least ten years nw, maybe longer. How they'd managed it, she'd never know. But they had. She could sense that a move was coming soon, though. Esme was looking at architecture books again, Carlisle was checking hospitals across the country.

The thought made her incredibly nervous. She didn't want to leave Forks. She'd lived here her whole life, had so many ties here ... She didn't want to leave. If she left, it'd kill Jacob. If he'd even let her leave. The mention of it may re-spark the war between Jacob and her father. Not to mention that she wouldn't be the happiest of campers. Far from it. No, leaving at this point was out of the question. As of now, if a move was in talks, she had two options. Stay here and live in La Push with Jacob, or leave and bring Jacob with her. There wasn't any way under the sun she was leaving him.

"Yeah, so do I," Nessie replied, smiling. "Stars, clouds ... Anything in the sky unwinds me and mellows me out. Or laying in the forest listening to the animals and the river. Nothing's more relaxing than nature, really." Except for maybe curling up against a wolfy Jacob and taking a nap. That was pretty calming too. Until he swiped his tongue up her cheek and slobbered all over her. Then it was just gross.

She nodded in agreement with what Ruth was saying, feeling the same. Logic was great when it was necessary. Otherwise it was just irritating. People who always looked at things logically and had no sense of creativity or imagination bored her to tears. She hated being stuck in a conversation with someone who obviously had no sense of life or spontaneity. It almsot made her want to rip her hair out. "An excellent point. If more people could jsut be like that, always be who they are and not try and put on a different face based on what company they were in, the world would be such a better place."

[Ruth Hamilton]

"Oh," Ruth said, "How come?" she couldn't help but ask. If they were related to Nessie they couldn't be bad. Though, her parents were accepted in social circle...but, she didn't believe her parents were as bad or as strict as people thought. They just wanted the best for her, not their fault that she failed at that.

Ruth smiled, glad Nessie shared her view on nature. She sighed and said, "Ya...I wish I were a star, then I'd be perfect...I'd always do things right." And then, maybe then, her parents would love her, the only thing she really ever wanted.

[Renesmee Cullen]

"I don't know, really. People just don't like us. We seem ... odd, to them." Which they were. Her family as about as far from the norm as you could get. Except for maybe the boys down in La Push. But no one else knew that. And things were going to stay that way. Out of nowhere, the back of her throat burned, and she knew she'd have to feed soon. Maybe tonight, before she went back home. Gah, that was annoying.

Nessie frowned as Ruth continued, wondering how on earth she could think so little of herself. "You do things right now ... No one can be perfect. It's our flaws that make us who we are, make us beautiful."

[Ruth Hamilton]

"I don't think you seem odd," Ruth said, wanting to put her hand on top of Nessie's, but resisted that urge. She wondered what it would take for these urges to stop so she could think like any other normal girl did.

"That's not what my parents tell me," Ruth said, "They say failure isn't good...it's a weakness." Weak, that's what they told her. Failure meant you were weak, so therefore she was weak. Oh, how she wished she were perfect and strong!

[Renesmee Cullen]

Nessie smiled at Ruth's reply. Even though she knew that the prejudice toward her family had toned down some over the years, it was nice to hear that some people in the town just didn't notice how they were, didn't let it affect them. "Thanks," she replied with a grin before turning her gaze back to the stars.

Her frown returned and deepened, however, as Ruth continued, and she found herself wondering how someone could make anyone feel such a way, let alone their own child. "That's awful," she replied, unable to keep her opinions to herself. "Failure is a necessary part of life. Not the awful 'you can't do anything right' kind of failure, of course, but not everyone is going to be wonderful at everything they do. It's a part of human nature. I'm so sorry they do that to you."

[Ruth Hamilton]

"They're really not bad," Ruth said, "They just wants what's best for is all...I mean, they wouldn't just...have expect ions for me if it weren't for my best interest." Now, if only she could somehow follow her parent's expect ions, then they'd be happy with her, then they'd love her.